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Lights on January 4, 2016

Filed under: Uncategorized — educatedblue @ 3:13 pm

I’m going to smear my mascara down your cheek
And forget to correct my lipstick.
I might speak too long and too hard and too much.
No, I might.  I will.

I’m going to wear my glasses so you can see my scars and sleep with the light on.
I’m going to pull it back…the curtain, the mask, the nightgown, my hair, –the veil and I wonder where you’ll run to.
I’m going to scream too loud and without warning and without intent and  not going to tell you why.
I’m going to run.
I’m going to push.
And ask and ask and ask.

I’m going to cry.
And my cheeks are going to streak and my eyes are going to crinkle and my soul is going to spill…
And my legs will not be shaved and my soul will not be clean and my breath will not be crisp and my wingspan will be shallow…my voice will rasp.
And I wonder w h a t you will see.
W h a t

Will you try to mend my stockings?
Quiet my howl?
Console my shiver?
Or w i l l you just breathe.
W i l l you breathe?


December 8, 2015

Filed under: poems,Quotes,Thoughts — educatedblue @ 5:22 am
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…and when you think about what will set you free-
I hope it includes me.


December 6, 2015

Filed under: poems,Quotes,Thoughts — educatedblue @ 6:06 pm
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I always imagined him bathed in light.
Faceless, nameless, I only knew his heart, only felt is soul pulsing forward with mine.
I imagined him as light, not in light, but as light itself.
A beacon: strong, warm, and pulsing with life.
I saw him in the morning when I would awaken–beside me…and I knew he held my heart, held it careful and safe because he cherished it.
I felt him encircle me at night when the wind blew colder and my feet couldn’t find comfort from their icy loneliness and he comforted my chill.
He told me I could close my eyes, that he was near and I had no reason to hide.  He told me I was life.

I imagined him as light itself.
Light that was unending, unfaltering.  The kind of light you swarm to.  The kind of light that is not of this world.  It is just too beautiful.
I imagined him as light…
But what I didn’t know, is that when he sleeps, the soft breaths and deep slumber don’t dim him.
He still radiates. 
His light, it only flames.


October 18, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — educatedblue @ 8:46 pm

The sun and I have a new relationship.
We’ve never gotten along before and I’ve always prayed for rain.
But now her beauty gets me.
And now I rely on her.
She’s the only one that never fails to get me up and never stops trying to touch me.
I can’t hide from her touch, from her glory.
And now I don’t want to.


September 8, 2014

Filed under: poems,Thoughts,Uncategorized — educatedblue @ 5:14 pm
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Sometimes we put down what’s in our hand to chase the only thing that knows us.
Sometimes it klinks when it falls and we feel our heart slide below the stick shift that we can’t get into gear.
…because we know we shouldn’t be chasing. Again.
Maybe the chasing is the same as running.
…Maybe it’s the same as treading water.
…maybe it’s not.
But at least I dropped what was in my hand.


August 25, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — educatedblue @ 3:39 am

The streets are too dusty for my thoughts to pass,
And too plagued with cigarette butts and big gulp deals
To allow my pace.


August 11, 2014

Filed under: poems,Quotes,Thoughts,Uncategorized — educatedblue @ 5:05 am
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I am love.
No more tag.
No more hide and seek.
No more makeup.
Only love.
Only steps for it.
Steps to it.
Steps with it.
No more blindfolds.
No more excuses.
No more counting change.
I’m cashing in.
And I’m not looking back.



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